in the company of journalists

I have spent a long time in my life trying to be this thing called a journalist.

But I don't think I really felt like one -- really -- until I found myself sitting in the back of a windowless Navy plane, wearing a "VIP" helmet and ear muffs to protect against the roaring of the engine, surrounded by a dozen members of the local press corps (and some guys from Al Jazeera who made us all look hopelessly amateurish) on our way to dutifully take notes on a guided tour of an impressively managed press tour of an aircraft carrier.

During the whirlwind 5-hour trip, I was herded about by bemused shipmen -- who made a point of addressing me (the only chick on the tour) as "ma'am" -- was pushed ever so gently out of the way of the hot exhaust of jets taking off on the flight deck, might have walked into the wing of a (parked) airplane while taking pictures in the hanger bay, asked ponderous questions of conveniently knowledgeable and on-message crew members who happened to be hanging out in all the places where we were doing interviews, and was not-so-gently chastised by an annoyed PAO for asking impertinent questions of the admiral.

I'm not really sure why this particularly experience solidified my identification with a profession I have technically been doing for a while.

Maybe it's because it represents everything I swore I would never do -- as a young, idealistic (and most importantly, unemployed) aspiring journalist so many years ago.

Maybe it was because by the end, after all the oohing an ahhing and running around to ask questions and take pictures while frantically wondering what the story was, all I wanted to do was run back to my office to meet my deadline.

Or maybe it was the fact that after it was over, I yawned through a split-second take-off that launched our airplane into the air at hundreds of miles an hour, slept most of the ride home, and noted that most of my colleagues were less concerned about their stories than the fact that they hadn't gotten a chance to eat lunch.

Ha. This is the worst journalism story ever.