in praise of knock-offs and painted cows...

Whenever my boyfriend and I visit upstate New York, where he is from, I always ask the same question about why every village seems to have a different-colored painted ceramic horse hanging out in their downtown. Either I don't ever remember the answer, which is possible, or all I've ever gotten from my boyfriend is a disconcerted shrug, what with the horses not being a landmark in any way associated with places where he made out with girls, tried to make out with girls, was in bands, or had existential teen-hormone fueled crises.

I was very excited to find out that Guam also seems to share the middle-American need to put painted, four-legged plastic creatures in front of buildings, adding to my increasing suspicion that the midwest has somehow been packed up and transported on a container ship here. I noticed several in downtown Hagatna a few weeks ago, and finally asked one of my co-workers about them. I think he gave me the same disinterested shrug that my boyfriend usually does - something to do with an initiative providing these customized cariboa to local businesses.

Also a few weeks ago, while I was wandering the wilds of the Micronesian Mall, I noticed that there was a KD toystore about to open up. I was pretty sure that this was some hilarious local curiousity with an unsavory tale behind it, much like the Dimple Donuts in my hometown of Topeka, which, rumor had it, was disenfranchised from Dunkin Donuts (they just changed a few letters in the sign) after some health code violations resulting from hijinks with dough, and uh, frosting.

So I took a picture (above) - on the hope that either there was a good story, or that the promise of an endless supply of probably real toys would somehow compel my boyfriend to move to Guam.

At any rate, my suspicions proved correct, at least about the first part, when I heard my boss snicker to himself at work after reading a story in the paper about a local businessman opening up a "KD Toystore." There was actually a large feature on it in the daily newspaper.

"Dude, I've known this guy since fifth grade, and he is a total fraud. I bet he's going to ship in all the knock-offs from Hong Kong."

KD toys, not to be confused with KB toys, is the Dimple Donuts of Guam. Apparently, there used to be a KB Toys, but, since it went out of business, the new proprieter is opening up his own branch, complete with the same color scheme, and layout. And, we suspect, will be stocking his shelves with lead-filled imitations of our favorite action heroes.

I'm not sure how these two stories are related - however - I'm pretty they must be.

Long live knock-offs and plastic cows.